His family was really awful to me and my family the day before the wedding and I told him that I wanted him to come stay the night with me. He said ok, when we got there his dad asked him to stay and he decided to stay with his family. He saw how upset I was. I told him that we “might” get married tomorrow. He still didn’t come with me. He said that we will cut them out of our lives. I told him that I want him to stick up for me.
So, on the honey moon he tells me that we don’t have enough money and he starts getting cash advances on the credit cards. We didn’t take the bus very much and no taxis even though I was 6 months pregnant. Ate at sandwich stands, etc. He told me months before that we had enough money.
So we had a few bad fights on the honeymoon. I cried every morning before getting out of bed because of what his parents had done.
Then we get home and we had talked about how I was going to try and get a temp job because I would be almost seven months by then and he says, I would prefer if you didn’t work. There’s been a few complications with the pregnancy and I would only have been able to work for a couple months anyways. So, we talk about it and decide that it is ok that I don’t work. But, then he won’t give me any money. The money I had saved up from working before I quit because of the pregnancy comlications ran out and he refused to give me any money.
I asked him if he was going to make me ask him to buy anything, even bras, etc that I might need.
He said yes. He said the spending spree was over.
He said that I had been spending both of our money and that he had the figures.
He said that I needed to respect his money.
When I tried to explain to him that I couldn’t just sit in the house all day because I didn’t have money for gas or to go to lunch occasionally with friends. He said that I could go to the beach and write. That I was the most creative person he knows and that I should get creative.
Well we got in a monster fight. I felt so vulnerable. I couldn’t believe he was doing this.
I overreacted and told him I wanted a divorce, etc. and it was terrible for about two days.
Then I finally get him to agree to give me $25 a week for spending money.
But, he said that if it was up to him, he wouldn’t spend anything because he is willing to sacrifice anything for me and the baby. Total guilt trip.
So, I tried to get a job at the temp agency and most of the jobs are temp to hire. They had one job that was 3 and half months but too long since I will have delivered by then.
I am now starting to write online for extra money.
He makes 6 grand a month and I have to ask him for $5.00 to buy a bra? I have only not been working since I had to have an operation and then the wedding and honeymoon.
He said that he would put me on the account too so that I would have access to money without having to ask him for anything. He hasn;t done so yet.
I feel really scared. So, vulnerable. We are moving right after the baby is born so he can go to school and it’s only 45 mins. from his family and he hasn’t said anything to them yet.
I’m so scared that I’m at his mercy and then throwing his family into the mix and a new baby. What am I going to do?
Just want you to know that I’ve worked my entire life, have a college education and we lived together for two years before we got married. He never acted like this before. We always shared expenses.
The only reason I can’t work now is because I’m seven and half months pregnant! I had money saved up and spent it on the honeymoon because he said we had enough money. And we decided to have this baby together as a joint decision. Yes, I trusted him.