So basically this stems from over a year of “drama” largely created by my MIL but due to my SIL. My husband and I got married last spring, I very reluctantly had my SIL as a bridesmaid but was never mean ect. I certainly could have included her more in the process however everyone, including her and my MIL, knew she was in it because she wanted to be and my husband wanted his sister to be. She got no less say/input in dresses/wedding dets ect then any other of my bridesmaids ect. When the girls planned my shower my SIL (who is almost 30 and has now 2 kids) was included however literally didn’t do any of the tasks for it that she was asked to do. At the last minute my MOH did it all and my MIL told her she’d give my MOH the $ for the stuff my SIL was supposed to do, but never did. And that was about $100. Later in spring me and the girl who had been my MOH did a “sprinkle” for my SIL basically becasue her and my MIL kept “hinting” to me about it. She mentioned how she had “nothing” for the baby (her second boy in 3 years) She bought a new swing, 2 bouncey seats, and diapers. But 3 weeks before she was due had NOTHING else aside from like 4 outfits. I felt bad for the baby so myself and my MOH threw a VERY small “sprinkle” for her. Just her fam and my fam and like 2 friends of mine who know her (she literally didn’t have any “friends” for me to invite). Prob 11 people in all aside from myself. Fastforward to now and I am due with #2 in 3 weeks (actually scheduled repeat c-section). I had no expectations/need for another shower, however knowing that most of my friends were at college ect when I had my daughter, and being this was a boy; had a good incling they’d do something. Well beginning of Sept. they had casually mentioned it to each other about planning something for me, nothing set though. My SIL took it upon herself to call my MOH from my wedding and ask if her and my other girlfriends had anything planned. Being as they hadn’t actually started planning anything yet, she said no. She didn’t want to invite my SIL to help them after all the probs with my bridal shower, so she didn’t say anything else to her. A week later my SIL called her to ask again and told my MOH for her and my other friends not to do anything because “she was since I threw her a second shower”. My MOH not wanting to do 2 showers since it’s a second baby and would be all the same guests, and not wanting to be involved with my MIL or SIL again (I DO NOT BLAME HER) dropped it and told my other girlfriends the same. My SIL at that time mentioned doing something for me to my mom. About 5 weeks later my mom still hadn’t gotten an invite/heard anything else from her so she gave her a call. SIL told her she was going to mail invites ect but up until 2 weeks ago, again nothing else was mentioned. My mom was then approached by multiple family/friends that would be invited normally if she knew of anything going on; since they all knew it was about 6 weeks until I was due. My mom tried to get a story out of my SIL but basically she had at that point done nothing, not sent an invite ect. And to top it off made up some redic lies about my MIL only mailing invites to her fam ect. At that point my mom filled me in on everything because she wanted to know if I cared if she had something for my family/friends/ect, and let my MIL take care of her family. Well basically after my MIL was an *** to my mom as well as my SIL my mom decided that even though it might not be so great for me, she’d rather the family/friends see what a disaster my SIL and MIL were turning it into and to let them handle it all. My SIL finally sent out invites about 10 days before this shower, which is supposed to happen this Sat. My SIL’s house literally can NOT hold the 15-20 people that will be there and even though my MIL lives on the same street and has a larger nice house won’t have it there. On top of that all my SIL’s kids are BOTH sick and she is NOT a clean person. I pride myself on having the type of home that although isn’t spotless and germ/dirt free; I am NEVER worried about someone just “popping” in per say. Her’s for most people would be the exact opposite, however she is the type of person that totally doesn’t care. My MIL has taken a passive aggressive stance on it all. She has insisted to my husband when he’s talked to her that my SIL is doing it, my friends didn’t want to do anything for me, my mom refused to help ect. So that it left my poor SIL to do it all “alone”. And tells him that she will clean her house and is paying for it all ect. But at the same time she isn’t doing one thing to make it even remotely decent. She is taking a pork roast and slow cooking it and that is literally all the food, not even a chip, that they are “serving”. And this is for a 1pm saturday shower, and they have known me for 7 years and know that I DO NOT EAT PORK! But since she has it that’s what she is using. I litearlly refuse to go to my SIL’s house because it’s too cramped,
SISTER IN LAW-SIL
MOTHER IN LAW-MIL
MAID OF HONOR-MOH

And yes but it got cut off. Basically how can I handle myself around them knowing ym friends where gonna do something nice for me but since my SIL got invloved they didn’t want to. And now my spitful MIL is helping my disorganized SIl ruin it.
Well the problem is that my husbands “solution” to his sister was to have everyone meet at her house then once they were all there “move” the shower to my house (3 blocks away) to “suprise me”. Since he knows there is NO way anyone could get me there, and my MIL and SIL still thinking I don’t know. So I can’t even not go because about 20 people are comming to “suprise” me at my house. So basiically I am an unwilling host to my own disasterous event! And I can’t do anything to make it nicer becasue it’s supposed to be a suprise!