http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090702/ap_on_re_us/us_sc_governor_what_is_love
I absolutely agree, and have always followed this logic when it comes to my relationship with my husband…which is the reason why I will always remain faithful/married to my husband.
Because Y!A only allows a certain number of words, I’ve added just a few of the statements in the article below, just in case you cannot follow the link.
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“Their point is that love is not a feeling….It’s a choice. It’s an action.”
That world view, he says, “divorces” love from emotion, because “feelings are fleeting and not to be trusted.”
“Love is something that is cultivated in the trenches of living a day-to-day relationship,” says Bartowski. “That is not a Hallmark moment.”
Regarding marriage: “The emotions are the icing on the cake….They’re not the cake.”
Witherington says feelings are a “notoriously unreliable guide” in personal relationships because they tend to change with time. Marriage is not just a commitment of will, he says, but a commitment before God.
“That’s why, at a Christian wedding service, you don’t say, ‘I feel like’ and ‘I feel like.’ You say, ‘I will’ and ‘I will,’ ‘I do’ and ‘I do.’”
Culbertson told the AP he believes that “everybody’s vulnerable, and there are no boundaries on darkness.” He does not dine alone with other women and keeps his office door open when he has a female visitor.
He says he has counseled many men “who have fallen in the position that Mark’s in.”
“Everybody starts with the same exact story: ‘We got to be friends. We started talking. I didn’t mean for anything to happen,’” he says. “That’s exactly where a sin begins.”
“It was innocent,” he said of his first meeting on a beachside Uruguayan dance floor with Chapur. “That was the beginning of sin right there. … If you’re a married guy, at the end of the day, you shouldn’t be dancing with somebody else.”
The Rev. Gary Chapman agrees.
A senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, N.C., Chapman has been a marriage counselor for 35 years. He has written several books, most notably “The Five Love Languages.”
Chapman says Sanford is in the throes of what he calls the “in-love experience.”
“It’s not that there is not emotion involved in love,” he says. “But the ‘in-love’ experience is super emotion. It’s very euphoric. It doesn’t take any effort. You’re just pushed along by your emotions.”
That high doesn’t last, Chapman warns. Rather than seek that high over and over, he counsels couples to stick with the commitment they’ve already made and learn how to “keep love alive.”
A faded love can be reborn, he says. But it takes time — and work.
“You don’t sit around waiting for the emotional love to come back.”
