My fiance and I are both virgins, what should we expect on our wedding night?
by techdude on Friday, April 9th, 2010 | 16 Comments
I can’t believe I’m asking this question, but I am interested to see what the answers will be. We’re both in our mid 20′s, waited because of religious beliefs, definitely understand the mechanics of it all, but I just wonder if any one else has been in the same situation and has any advice. Is there anything you’d had done differently or you really encourage? I know it won’t be perfect physically, but I feel it will be such a true joy to experience our first time in such a special way. He’s very, um “eager” already…what can I do to help him last a little longer? Thanks!
bow chicka wa wow! its instinctive you’ll be alright
Hey there’s always oral to hold eachother over till the wedding!
u want to make it special so while your doing it go through is hair and just go with it it might hurt at first and u might bleed a little but the rest youll be fine
My hubby was my first when I was 22(when we were dating not on the wedding night) and my first thought was….that was it? I mean it was GREAT dont get me wrong, but all the thought I had put into who it would be with, where, etc. Its fun! and majorly enjoyable and sometimes I wish I had done it sooner.
Keep the bedroom ina very cozy and romantic
atmosphere; and get some tips from your parents
I would say. Just be gently and loving and kind to
each other in your expressions.
your find that its not half as romantic as you thought…it will be hot, sweaty, with alot of noises, but hey you’ll love it….enjoy
hey!! that’s what me and m fiance are doing too!! my mom said that it won’t be as great as you expect it to be at first. she said that it will hurt a lil bit and there may be a bit of blood (for girls) my man is also very “eager” and i am just hoping that i don’t disappoint him…but then again, he has nothing to compare it to! hehehe. just focus on taking it slow and communicating. sex is just another way to show your husband how you love him. and i’m sure after some practice, it will be darn good fun!
My recommendation is to be slow and into each other the whole time. There’s a big difference between knowing the mechanics of it and knowing how to make those mechanics achieve something very special between two people, so just make sure the experience is about the two of you and how much you love each other, and you’ll have a wonderful moment.
To help him last longer. You can use a condom. He will be less sensitive therefore “last longer.” About the rest don’t worry. If both of you care for each other it should be special. At least emotionally it will be.
I’m of 2 minds. On one hand, you’ve both made a beautiful gesture to each other by waiting for each other. Simply because of that, your first moments together will be special. You waited because of a shared belief. You married for love, and you will give each other your virginity as a seal of this love you share. This will be special no matter what happens.
On the other hand, it’s sex. everyone and everything has sex. It’s engrained in our beings, and as natural as breathing.
On a practical note… make sure your birth control methods are in place and keep some KY Jelly on hand in case you need it. You may not need it, but *just in case*. You want to be comfortable.
Buy yourself a copy of the Guide to Getting It On. It’s a great book, not smutty, and really informative. Prepare yourself for the fact that it will probably suck. I don’t know any woman who enjoyed her first time. I suppose it’s possible, but like I said I don’t know anyone who did. Most guys do enjoy it. Technically speaking, it’s alot easier for guys to enjoy it. Heck sometimes they enjoy it before it even happens properly. Get the book, it will be good for you.
Be prepared to laugh things off. No matter how ‘magical’ some people claim the first time is, if you’re both virgins, there will be a lot of awkward moments physically. However, if you keep a good attitude about it, and are willing to laugh at mishaps and not be embarrassed, you can still have a lot of fun together just getting to know each other’s bodies. Also, in terms of making him last longer, if it’s his first time, it might be hard to do that for a while – so spend much more time on foreplay, stroking, kissing, carassing, etc, to make the whole thing last longer. And remember, if it doesn’t go perfectly the first time, you have a whole lifetime together to improve!!
Congrats and good luck!
expect sex lol
My fiancee looked over my shoulder and says “Blood. Lots and lots of blood”.
LOL
It wasn’t that way for my first time..and by your mid 20s, I rather doubt it will be that way for you two.
Seriously? Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves for the first night.
First of all, most likely you will be EXHAUSTED by the time you get to your hotel room. You will have had one of the busiest, most stressful and most exciting days of your life…you may not have the energy left to do anything in the bedroom. Many people I’ve talked to said they waited until the next morning/night.
Second, Whenever you decide to make love the first time (first night or not), take it slow. Take the time to discover each other and do not rush it…allow yourselves time to explore and relax. The largest organ of the body is the skin. Do not focus just on sexual areas….play with the whole body, not just a few inches of it.
Thirdly: TALK to each other…When something feels good, say so…same for negative sensations…TELL your partner and have your partner tell you how he is feeling. This is a learning experience for both of you. No one should feel like they need to perform well…it will probably be awkward, and there may be some “Oops” moments. Those “Oops” moments will later be the things you guys laugh about.
As for your fiance lasting longer…don’t expect him to last very long at all the first few times. There is a lot of anticipation behind this first act…But you are both young…Even if the first round is quick…you have the rest of your lives to do it again!
So, No pressure, Have fun, Take it slow and communicate.
Good luck!
Kat
Probably lots of disappointment.
Here’s a real-life experience of two virgins on their wedding night.
I’d suggest bringing a virgin – both male and female – to orgasm before trying intercourse: for guys, it will slow down his response a bit, and make it better for her. For girls, it will make her as open and lubricated as she’ll ever be. If you’re BOTH virgins – this is even MORE important to improving the quality of the sex. If you’re intending to be life partners a (physiologically) poor first experience may not matter in the long run, but if you haven’t made that commitment you should probably put a little effort into making the first time “good”.
“It doesn’t matter as much to guys.”? BULL!! It matters just as much, though possibly in a different way.
OK – My First Time!
Well, let’s see – we were both 23(!) and both still virgins. It was our wedding night, 1974. It was lousy sex. It was almost consensual rape. It was also extremely significant for both of us. We are still married – yes, to each other. (Although I occasionally remind her of the list I’m keeping of all the things my NEXT wife will, or will not, do.)
We had planned ahead – our wedding was 1:00 in the afternoon especially so that we could have a reception, and start making love at a decent hour. We had known each other for about a year, and been engaged for 10 months. In the last few months of the engagement we had done just about “everything but . . .”. I helped her to her first orgasm (her thighs around my ears) and she had done me orally, manually, and dry humping so we weren’t exactly ignorant of each others’ responses.
We had talked about postponing it, but I think we both knew we were going to do it. We got to our room about 7:00 pm and started deep kissing before the door latched. She gave me a choice: she’d get into one of her “honeymoon nighties”, or I could undress her, or she could undress herself (while I waited in the bathroom – I never quite understood that part!) and wait for me under the covers. I selected the nightie. She went to the bathroom to get ready, and I got into pajamas and waited on the bed.
She came out wearing a yellow gauze creation that was only faintly see-through. We talked and stalled a bit. We read each other some love poetry (not original) and Bible verses. This wasn’t agreed upon beforehand – we each intended to surprise the other with this romantic touch. We embraced and started necking. Probably 30 – 45 minutes later the clothes were off and I was eating her. After a LONG time of this (we agree that it was 15 minures or more) I was frustrated that I couldn’t bring her to climax, as I’d intended immediately before entry.
(During our lovemaking while engaged I had noticed how open and wet she was immediately after orgasm, and knew that was the best time to enter her. I also knew that it took only 5 – 10 minutes to bring her to climax.)
She said, “I’m ready.” Big (sexual) mistake! I should have known she wasn’t ready. She probably knew she wasn’t. We put a pillow under her bottom and put KY Jelly onto our genitals. From some book we had read together we thought these steps would make it better. She raised her knees and spread her thighs. I’d never been so excited – pounding heart, dry mouth, etc. I climbed on top. She hugged me and I tried to make entrance.
It hurt! I couldn’t find the opening! I mashed my cock head against something. OUCH! I thrust and bent my erection. Extreme OUCH!! I was embarassed, frustrated and impatient. Eventually, I found what felt like the right place. I knew I wasn’t really in – my cock head was painfully pinched. When I tried to push in, she’d pull back. When I pulled back, she moved with me so I never could get a run at her.
After 5 – 10 minutes of this we were both tense, frustrated, embarassed and sore. This was NOT what either of us expected. I paused to catch my breath. We looked into each others’ faces, without a clue of what to say or do. I should have rolled off and started a long session of cuddling and fondling. But I felt her relax just a little, and without thinking about it or meaning to I rotated my hips in a full circle. I didn’t actually feel her tear, but I felt myself slip in.
She felt it too. She didn’t scream, but she definitely vocalized her physical discomfort. She jerked and pulled her knees up, toward her chest, trying to squirm away. Bad tactic – it made everything line up just right, and I went all the way in. Again, not that I planned it, it was just the way we were positioned, how she moved, where my weight was, etc.
I HAD NEVER FELT ANYTHING SO GOOD!
She began to cry.
GOD IT FELT GREAT!
I thought, “I’m raping my virgin lover on our wedding night.”.
THIS FEELS SO WONDERFUL THAT SHE MUST CERTAINLY FEEL IT TOO!
Instinctively, I started stroking. She was sobbing. Mercifully, I only lasted about 30 seconds, probably half a dozen strokes.
The contractions were still running through me when I felt ashamed and sorry for what I’d done. I uncoupled quickly, and saw what a bloody mess we’d made. Previously, while she was getting dressed to be undressed, I had run warm water in the sink and had a washcloth and towel ready. It was probably the only thing I did right, although I expected to be cleaning up love juices rather than blood. Nevertheless I spent a long time bathing her genitals in warm water and assuring her that I loved her (which was true) and she was a great sex partner (as if I really knew!) and it was everything I’d hoped it would be (I should have been struck by lightning for telling that whopper!). We cuddled for a long time – she didn’t say many words, but her body recited an eloquent love poem.
About 11:00 we went down to the coffee shop and had ice cream. While sitting there, she noticed a slightly pink stain in the crotch of her white shorts. Thinking her period had come a week early (she’s always been very irregular) we hurried back to the room. Well, that’s not what it was. In all of our sex education, nobody had pointed out that “what goes in, must come out”, and her maidenhead was bidding an oh-so-faint farewell. She came out of the bathroom with no pants on, and said “Let’s do it again.”.
The second time was much better. We were more relaxed, unpressured, and we put her on top. The next day, on our fourth session, she finally had her first married orgasm. It was from cunnilingus, not intercourse, but we were both pleased with that. (It was almost a week before she started coming from ****ing.) All told we did it 5 times in the first 24 hours of our marriage – and haven’t kept count since.