It’s not that we don’t want them it’s just that we don’t have a house of our own yet, and we are not getting one anytime soon, so we have no place to put all this stuff.
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Register at a bank…not a store
I understand how you feel; but, there is no good way to do this.
Just say that although gifts are appreciated, to start your lives together you need money, because otherwise you have know where to put your stuff
tell them to make sure that they give the reciept to the gift and make sure they tell you what store it came from!!!
Say “Gifts in the form of Cash Only please!!!!!!”
then put down a comment like…..
” We are saving for our first house….donations would be appreciated over gifts ”
something similar
Somewhere on the invitation put “Greenback Gifts”
This is a tricky one. It may be rude to some people if you tell them what to get you and what not, you know how some ppl take things the wrong way. I would have another person put the word out that you guys would prefer money or giftcards. It may look tacky or if you guys tell them yourselves.
you dont really – unless you plan to donate to a charity. then you could specify a charity cause in lieu of gofts. otherwise people WILL be offended if you state to give cash instead of presents!!
Just state that you are accepting gifts, although you would much prefer donations to ‘something-or-other’ (house, car, baby, piano, swimming lessons…)
maybe be really cheeky and even set up a box, that way people ont be intimidated about how much they give you, (although you get more in cards!)
You write “We don’t want gifts, but money instead” on the invites.
no, just kidding.
You might consider writing nothing about the gifts on the invitation. And instead talk to each guest individually over the phone and let them know about this. Or maybe ask your best man or maid of honour to do this for you. I think its hard to come up with any statement that would go in the invitation about this that would not sound a bit tacky.
Good luck.
Be sure to add “I’m rude, tacky, and not really ready for marriage.”
you really cant request money on the invitation..it is my experierence that the bulk of the people give money.. the bulk of the house items you will get at your bridal shower…if anyone was to ask your parents or future in laws for ideas they can suggest then that money would be ok..
You could say that you are having financial trouble… -OR- you could be very specific on what you would buy with the money and then put that on your list.
Just write it on a little piece of paper and put n the invitation that is what we did and we got almost all money. We received only a few gifts and those were mostly from people we invited through word of mouth. Good luck.
Here is appropriate wording for that sentiment:
“Forget that a gift is supposed to come from the heart, forget that we should appreciate the time you would spend picking out a lovely gift for us — we are greedy, non-appreciative jerks so we only want money.”
OK, I’m being a little hard on you, but not TOO hard. It is entirely inappropriate for you to put any such thing in your wedding invitations. Under any circumstances. Since it seems you really do have some kind of valid reason, you might let it slip to some of your bridesmaids and family that, since you don’t have a home yet, gifts of money would sure make things easier — and then hope they spread the word. But spreading the word yourself is entirely improper, and putting it in your wedding invitations is improper AND greedy.
Best of luck with your wedding.
That’s not classy at all.
Who has done this, and how well did it work.
I can tell you now that for a wedding I would spend a hundred on a gift, but i’d only give like forty in cash.
Try hinting but ultimately let people decide what to give.
Dear friend,
Due to lack of storage place, or a home for that thoughtful blender, crystal set, or coffee maker, my beloved and I respectfully request that any gifts be cash or as a gift certificate to IKEA, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, or Best Buy. One day when we get that home of ours, your token of friendship will be used to decorate our new home.
Well the polite thing to do would be to not expect any gifts at all. Even though you will probably recieve gifts of all sorts, no matter what you ask for, it would be rude to specify what you wanted from your guests. A wedding is a celebration and ceremony of your marriage, not a place to collect gifts from family and friends.
I suggest you do not mention it at all, but instead explain this to people IF they ask you what you want/need.
As for the gifts that you do recieve from people, you could always ask them where they got it from (‘wow, this is great- where did you get it?’) and then take it back to that store and return it. Some stores may give you in store credit only if you do not have the reciept for the item. A trick I have learned of how to get around this, which takes some time but is worth it if you really just want the money, is to return the item for in store credit. Then you purchase something with the credit from that store, it doesn’t matter what, and then return that. Since you will have the reciept from purchasing it with the in store credit, you will then be able to get a cash refund. Another trick you can do to make this process easier is to register at a specific store, maybe just one or two and ask that all gifts/ gift cards be bought there. That way, you can do the returning all at once.
Good luck with it, and you never know some of the gifts might be keepers.
Something like, “please give money in lieu of gifts”?
Put your honeymoon on your registry. I’t's a sublte way of telling people you want donation for it, and therefore cash.
At the Brides Table by the reg. Book put a money tree. Also can be moved to the grooms table at the reception. That tree will fill up pretty fast. As far as gifts go, 1 person got it right. Could put registered at _____ Bank for our future home. These 2 ideas should help.
See ya
Unfortunately you can’t, it would be crass and tacky. In fact you really shouldn’t mention gifts at all in an invitation. Maybe confide this to closer family members and they can hint to invited people that you could probably “really use the money”.
accept whatever people want to give willingly and put it in storage or at a friends house in their attic. if you have no room for gifts, just say “no gifts” please. don’t ask for money, they may give it anyway.
There is no proper way to do that…the best you can do is when someone asks you (or your mom or whoever) where you are registered, they can be told verbally that you would more receptive to cash rather than gifts and explain why….this is still tacky and tasteless but is far less tacky and tastless than to actually put it on your invitations…gifts, whether cash or tangible are given because the giver wants to give, not because someone demands the gift nor is a wedding gift a “requirement”….
Eek! Miss Manners and I are appalled that you would suggest such a thing.
It would be most polite to just sit back and let people gift you with whatever they choose to. Then send all your thank you notes right away as each gift arrives.
It is RUDE to mention gift suggestions in ANY way in your invitations, even if it is to state that you prefer not to receive any. It’s EXTREMELY rude to ask for money gifts.
If you do not want to register for actual household items, then simply don’t register anywhere. A large percentage of your guest list will just give you money gifts out of laziness or disinterest in shopping– so there is absolutely no need to be so make any money requests in your invitations.
There are also services online where you can “register for money” but again, making use of those services is rude and crass– don’t be tricked in to using them. It is rude to register for money in any form, for honeymoons, or to register for gift cards. It’s all the same.
People will talk about how rude you were for generations, when you make large etiquette mistakes like this at your wedding.
It is more important in the long run that you be remembered as a polite and gracious wedding couple than that you receive the gifts you really wanted. Getting married is not about the “loot” that you score.
That is indeed a very good question…. this is very difficult to do without sounding greedy, so being diplomatic and EXTREMELY tactful is going to be very important. If you are working with a wedding planner (which I recommend to reduce stress) they would be a great resource for this question. Perhaps by limiting the number of items on your Wedding registry you might be able to ‘subliminally’ put your point across without actually coming right out and saying that you’d prefer cash.
This is a tough one and that’s the best I could come up with. Good luck and congratulations!
It might be an idea not to get married until you have a house.
The whole point of wedding presents is to provide a few items for your new life with your partner.
If you must get married right now, better to ask people to make a donation toward your favourite charity.
I just got married this weekend and we got mostly money. The gifts we did get were things like photo frames and some cookware (2 boxes of Pyrex from my sis who knew I had none) There is no way to do this most people will give gifts of money now or gift certificates. They are still going to want to know what you bought with the money so its not free money and you are going to have to end up with stuff. You could try registering at a travel agency for a honeymoon trip and letting your family know gift registries should always be word of mouth. Also try registering only for more expensive things and very few little items people will give money so you can pool wedding money for bigger items (new bed etc.)just make sure these items are practical not outrageous like a new Porsche.
I would simply write that: In lieu of gifts, please give money. Something like that. I mean, who is coming to your wedding. Friends and family. They know that you have yet to find a home and should not feel offended at all. Just put a big box on the table for contributions and don’t forget the $$$ tree. Also, my cousin had a high bidder dance for the bride and groom. Really helped with the honey moon cost. Good luck.
Just write : we have all the stuff we need so……get us the stuff we want!!!
simply…you dont take what you get and enjoy it. you cant request any kind of gift from people as it isnt up to you. put it in storage cuz you’ll need it all someday. and just so you know…yo u have a wedding to plan. worry about that and dont even think about gifts as they have nothing to do with your wedding day. what is wrong with brides today being so concerned with getting their guests money.
If I received an invitation without any registry card or something telling me where the couple was registered for gifts- I would just give money anyway. But not everyone in the world thinks the same. I don’t know any other way that is tactful though.
please don’t do that. i guess the only way to say it is don’t say where you are registered. but i think this is really bad too because basically you’re saying, we want you to come here to give us money not to share in our special day. Besides, eventually you will have a home, do you not live in a house now? I’m sure you can use some stuff now or store it until you but a home.
I have been invited to heaps of weddings where the couple have asked for cash instead of gifts. Most of these couples have been living together for some time before they marry.
This is a poem I was given with a wedding invitation. It was printed on card and was included in the envelope and not attached to the invitation at all.
“We’ve been together for a few years now
We have pots and pans and linen and towels
We have glasses and toasters. Really quite a few
So instead of gifts we suggest this to you
If it doesn’t offend and won’t send you running
What we’d really appreciate is quite simply money
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same
Don’t go bezerk or rob any banks
Any little thing will make us smile with thanks
Now that we have saved you all of the fuss
We’d really appreciate it if you’d come and celebrate with us”
It is a touchy subject, but I don’t think you are being unreasonable for wanting money, as long as it is going toward something like a down payment for a house.
I would check with your bank. Some banks have special registry accounts, where guests can donate money toward a predetermined expense, such as a honeymoon or a house down payment. I think if you added this, along with a couple more traditional registry places, you’ll be fine. Those who don’t like the idea of giving money can get you something from the other registries if they want to give a gift, and those who give money can take comfort in knowing that they are donating to something very important to a couple — their first home!
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
There should be no mention of gifts, or cash, on the invitation. The best way to handle it is to let your paretns, future in-laws, and those in the wedding party know that you would prefer monetary donations instead of gifts. That way when and guest ask for suggestions they can be informed of your wishes in a non-formal way. Although, for those who find it rude to give gifts, you should also have a wedding registry with some items. There are places such as theknot.com, that have wedding registrys where you can register to receive AmEx Gift Cheques. Best of luck.
Well I know how you feel, Im getting married january 25,2007 and the wedding has put me in a lot of debt so We just asked people for “monetary donations” instead of gifts..its just more polite than saying “we dont want gifts but money” but it works 2
get the gifts and then when you guys are dancing at your party you two can dance with everyone for a dollar it’s called the dollar dance
It is totally inappropriate to ask for money, in case you didn’t get that message from all the comments. You might want to consider putting off the wedding until you do have a home – but won’t you be living someplace where you can use the 5 toasters you will probably get? Everyone has to deal with this and believe me, you are no different.