How do Agnostic people marry? I subscribe to no particular religion (though I am spiritual), and I’ve been wondering about what would happen if I were to get married. As the bride, it would be up to me to plan these things I guess, but how do you have a wedding ceremony with no mention of deities or…”holiness?” Anyone else been through this already?
I guess I did leave out that I would like to have an actual “ceremony,” I don’t want to go down to the courthouse with just my spouse and witness.
This is all very far off anyway, just something I’ve been wondering about.
Have a civil ceremony.
You go before a judge in court, with one or two witnesses and get married there. It’s called a Civil Wedding.
You find a nice venue & hire a JP who will speak of Love and commitment and marry you. I went to a lovely one recently, an intimate affair in a private room in a gourmet restaurant. Several years ago, I attended a lavish one in a hotel. Several people spoke but the JP officiated.
Yes! I am atheist (close enough to agnostic) and although my fiance was raised Catholic he doesn’t practice his religion and we have been searching high and low for non-religious officiants. First off, let me warn you not to get a “non-denominational” officiant, because they will charge you 5 times more than a civil servant. Call the mayor of the town you’re getting married in, he/she might be able to do it. (that didn’t work for me because he refused to omit the word “god” from the ceremony wording…whatever happened to separation of church and state, I wonder?)
Another route is to look for a judge (by law, any judge can perform a legally binding marriage ceremony) although I’ve found that to be very difficult because they do not want to come out on a weekend night for $100 (also by law, you are only allowed to pay them $100.)
You can look for a person that was ordained on the internet who performs ceremonies for a hobby/extra income. We have a meeting with such an officiant later on this week. Also, nowadays anybody can get ordained on the internet, it’s free and you can have a loved one perform your ceremony. (check out for free ordination) If you do go that route, however, make sure you read up on marriage laws (license information, etc.) in your state beforehand, so that the person doesn’t screw up the paperwork on your big day.
Hope I helped! Good luck with your non-religious wedding and I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your future hubby =)
Simply have the officiant speak about the couple, marriage, devotion and things like that. Have a reading, write your own vows. Do what you want. That’s what I will do next time.
The best line I’ve ever heard at a wedding was by my stepbrother who was the officiant for my father’s wedding. He said “You may now kiss my mother.” Every one had to laugh. Humor is great at making things memorable.
that’s when you write your own ceremony. you put in what is meaningful and important to you. You can hire a judge to officiate or you can have a friend or family member ordained and licensed to marry you.
I’m also agnostic and I would like to just have a judge or other officiant do it somewhere outside. No mention of anything holy. You don’t have to go to a courthouse to have a non-religious wedding!
Absolutely. You just need to hire an officiant who is totally fine with this. But please interview them first and be sure they understand what you want them to say (and not say). I have heard of cases where the religious officiant refused to change even little things because it didn’t sit with his own religious beliefs. Uck to that.
Anyway, lots of people get married who aren’t into Christianity or religion in general and so I think you will find someone to marry you. You can design the ceremony in any way you wish. You can have it mirror a “traditional” ceremony but just omit any god references, or you can write your own ceremony that is as unique as the two of you. Have fun with it!
Depending on what state you live in, it may be legal for someone you know — a friend, a family member, etc. — be licensed by the state to perform marriages. I think the cost for them to do this is minimal, like $25 or $35. Then you can be married by someone who actually knows you two, making it meaningful.
I have been to a civil ceremony preformed by a judge where they performed an actual ceremony in front of a large crowd at the park. Depending on your area, the justice of the peace may be willing to travel and do something like that.
The other option is to have a Unitarian Universalist wedding. They are non-creedal, which is different than just being non-denominational. Non-creedal means that they believe it is up to the individual to figure out for themselves what seems true, and they don’t try to tell you what to believe in. Their ceremonies will not have any mention of deities or “holiness” unless you want them to. My husband and I are agnostic and were happy with the UU ceremony we had. There was actually a post yesterday asking about agnostic weddings, and somebody else also mentioned that she and husband were agnostic and got married in the Unitarian Universalist church.
Agnostics marry in the same way as religious people, but usually not in a place of worship and leaving any references to deities out of their vows. You don’t have to be married by a priest, you can be married by anyone who is authorized to perform marriages in the state you’re getting married at – it can be a justice of peace or any kind of non-denominational minister. If you ask them for a non-religious ceremony, they will be happy to oblige. You can supply your own vows if you want. And, of course, you choose where you get married – which can be a lot of places besides the courthouse; a park, a beach, a landmark, a national park, a garden, a chapel, a museum, a ballroom… possibilities are endless.
I recently got engaged and my fiance and i are both agnostic. We have decided to get married at this very nice hotel in a downtown ciity and they do the ceremony there as well as the reception. We are having friends of ours get their temporary liscense in Indiana to marry us. It is actually an online course and then they are able, by law, to legally marry us. We are also getting married around 7pmand the reception is right after. It is still a legal marriage, and it is going to be more fun, we think, than a traditional religous one, which we were both uncomfortable doing. ALso, w eare writing our own vows. Good Luck!!
My fiance and I are both atheists, we’re going to use secular readings and just keep the God out. We’re having the ceremony outdoors, in a state park.
Of course, some of my relatives will probably have heart attacks but to thine own self, be true!
Here is a page of civil ceremonies. It is easy to tell what was written with each couple and what can be reused.
Find a wedding chapel. There are lots of them around. Reasonably priced with non denominational services. We had our reception at a nearby restaurant.